All Time Top Three
In reverse
order:
Away, Kirkby
Independent, 1993:
taking a long ball from
Wack,
over my shoulder and
onto my chest
in the channel by the
right hand edge of the box,
with Popeye screaming
for it square
and the centre half
closing and jostling,
I
let it bounce once
then took it on the
full
and watched
incredulous
as it screamed thirty
diagonal yards
rising all the
way
over the keeper into
the top left corner of the net.
At home against the
Harlequin, 1997:
I
sprung the offside trap,
nipping in on a dinked
ball from Growler.
The keeper dashed out
into the ‘D’
making himself
big
and leapt at me, a
reckless imminent impact.
I
did the only thing I could
and sliced across the
waist high-bouncing ball,
sending it high and
vertical over the keeper
before taking the
clatter
and picking myself
up
to see the topspin I
applied
drop the ball into the
net
and Benno diving on me
and shouting
“Who’s this fucking
Brazilian we’ve got playing for us?”
Away, Spion Kop,
1987:
the ball broke towards
their centre half
with plenty of time,
but looking complacent,
so I sprinted at
him
made it a 50/50 and won
it,
the ball spinning
loose
ten yards further
towards their goal.
I
jumped up and went after it,
two-footing the
covering full back
sending the ball
squirting
to the edge of their
box
where I emptied the
lunging keeper
and smashed the ball
into the unguarded net
for my second and last
goal
of the game,
nevertheless completing my hat-trick
(Guy Marley, who scored
a header
from a corner in the
first half
was
unregistered,
so Jamie, our manager
and press liaison
credited his goal
to me, incidentally bestowing
the back-page headline,
'Ely Hat-Trick Sinks Kop'
on the back page of
the Hemsworth and South Elmsall
Express.)_______
Zack Wilson is the author of 'Stumbles and Half Slips' from Epic Rites Press. Also available from Amazon.com.
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